Friday, June 27, 2014

Why I can't finish my play

As everyday goes by that my play is not finished, I read more about what is going on in and around Indian Country.  Every morning I wake with a new ending for my play, changing my views depending on what I had read the day before.
You see, my writing takes place in my head in the early hours of the morning.  The grey skies slowly light my bedroom because of the missing slat on my vertical blinds.  I look up at the ceiling to where the time is being projected from by rocket ship alarm clock.   My eyes are slow to adjust to the morning light, as well as the distance to the time.  Go back to sleep I try to tell my brain!  We agree to disagree and I begin to play out the different scenarios the ending could be.  I should reach for the notebook that is next to my bed to get these few moments of brilliance, but my brain convinces me that we'll remember it once we wake up.    This morning I had it!  But as I opened my computer, my brain got sidetracked as we tried to find the file I had made with yesterday's ending.  I lost it.  It is gone.  I had the ending this time.  So I sit and catch up on my social media and the vicious cycle continues.
This morning I was struck by the video from the San Fransisco Giants and their "Native American Heritage Night" where a woman asked a headdress wearing fan to take off the headdress.   What strikes me is not the request, but the general public that is walking by watching this scene unfold.  They may or may not know what has just transpired, but it is one comment that gets me.  I realize that had this been a different circumstance, I may have yelled the same thing, but because this is a native woman being man handled by police I took offense at this woman's comments, "Just shut-up and he will".  I am no better than any one else, I love to watch a good train wreck, but as I slow my pace to watch the wreckage, a part of me feels an overwhelming sadness that brings tears to my eyes.    
With this thought, I contemplate the end of my play.  Wanda needs to make a decision, is she or isn't she?  Well according to the dialogue and her circumstance she is.  

But is there a difference between being Indian and being an Indian?

Great.  Something new to ponder.