Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Hilltop Love


She walked around the patio searching for matches, or a lighter, she just needed a cigarette.  Now!  What a filthy habit she thought as she clicked the lighter and took a deep breath in.

Sighing deeply as the smoke escaped her lips, she sank into the rigid silver patio chair.  “What a view”, she thought to herself as she gazed over the expanse of the valley beyond.  The warmth of the late afternoon sun beat at her back as she lost herself in her thoughts.  Her marriage of 20 years now feeling the strains of fame and time.  She had spent the last 10 years caring for his children and home, what had she to offer the world?

Most people looked at her and thought her life was perfect.  What more could she ask for?  Never having to work, her days were spent taking care of the children and running the house, as well as spending her days at lavish lunches.  Who eats, much less orders a twenty-dollar salad? 

Still wearing the same outfit as yesterday, her day began when she dropped off the kids at school.  Since he was gone, she returned home to the comfort and solitude of her king-sized bed.  She fumbled with the lock at the entry, then kicked off her flip-flops and crawled under the beige duvet.  Two of her bedroom walls were shear glass and the early morning sun shone through trying to coax her out of bed.  But the darkness that had been her life for the past few years felt like a weight on her chest and she couldn’t move.  She just wanted to run away from it all.  Flying to the moon seemed like the best solution right now.

The ring of the phone woke her.  It was him.  His newfound interest in her only saddened her more.  “What? Oh yeah, things are fine here….” no just sitting around, kids at school you know…. no….. Look I gotta go…..yeah, yeah love you too”.  As she laid her hear down on her pillow the doorbell rang.  What now? she thought to herself.  “Samantha! Come on, answer the door, it’s me” the voice on the other side of the door yelled.  “Shit, she thought to herself.  Just one day I want to be alone, completely alone and not have to worry about anyone or anything” she thought to herself.  He was now pounding on door.  “Come on let me in!” Jed yelled.  She had met Jed a few years ago when he married her niece.  She recalled the day.  She thought he was the biggest jerk in the world.  The only reason she attended the wedding was to see her dad, she was never really fond of the rest of her family.  Being the oldest daughter, she had had a lot of privileges until the others came along, her two sisters the twins Monica and Maureen.  Now luckily she lived a world away from them, but she always felt like she was stepping into the past when she returned home.  Small town living was never for her.  Although she had a fun childhood, she knew she was too big for the small town.

“Fine, give me a minute.”  She begrudgingly walked to the door.  “Yes?” she asked.  “Hiya princess, what took you so long?” he countered as he kissed her.  “I’m just not in the mood for people, ok?  Why are you here?” she said as she pulled away.  “The roof? Remember? My guys are unloading, I just wanted to tell you we were here instead of just banging” as he walked in the house.  “Oh yeah.  I’m going to put my good earplugs in.  Make sure no one falls off the roof, I’ll be in bed”.  “Let me get the guys started and I’ll join you,” he yelled after her.  She cringed as she reached her bedroom and flopped onto the bed.  No, just go work!  What the hell am I paying you for she thought to herself.  She rolled over and reached into the nightstand drawer and pushed aside the condoms and found her bottle of Valium.  Yum, this is going to be a good day.  She washed down two with a big gulp of white wine. 

Thoughts of her childhood flooded her mind.  Small town living was different.  She was a rock star then.  Her parents were always athletic, so instead of being grounded like most children, she was made to go running in the wee hours of the morning with her mother, and because she was afraid of the dark, she always kept up.  Because of this, she was always on most of the school teams.  It was also helpful that she came from a small school, she was ensured to make every team.  Her parents had always taught her that should be whatever she wanted to, with that in mind, there wasn’t really anything that she could be should she decide to stay.  She had dreamt of becoming an astronaut.  Her fascination with the cosmos was the first in a long line of dreams, but nothing ever stuck.  Maybe that’s how she ended up on the party circuit, after her freshman year in college.  That and her degree was in fashion design.  To be successful in the fashion world, you had to know how to schmooze.  So there was always a party to attend and people to meet.  She was in a sorority, but she didn’t think much of them.  It was just another opportunity to meet other connected people. 

He shook her gently trying to wake her.  “Sam baby time to get up”, as he brushed her hair off her face.    She was groggy and felt weak.  She reached for a glass next to her bed and downed the last mouthful of wine.  “Huh…what are you doing here?”  she asked.  “The roof, remember? You let me in two hours ago”.  “Oh yeah, how’s that coming?”  “Well, that depends, how many days he will be gone?” as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her full lips.  She took a deep breath and sighed.  Him, she thought.  Why did you have to mention him?  Things were going so well.  “He gets back tonight from France, so you probably shouldn’t be here when he gets back.”  “I don’t care!  I belong here more than he does.  He doesn’t love you like I do.”  She pushed him away and turned to go back to bed.

She could hear the dogs bark from the other room as there tiny feet clicked on the hardwood floors because the doorbell had rang.  Luckily the housekeeper was here and could dismiss whoever was at the door.  She lie in bed looking up to the ceiling and sighed deeply.  She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall.  Ugh, she thought as her reached and touched her matted hair and looked at the clock on the nightstand.  3pm.  The kids would be home soon.   Another glass of wine to wash down the antidepressants so could muster the energy to take a shower. 

She slunk down in the corner of the stone shower, letting the warm water pelt her legs.  She had forgotten to take off her underwear and bra and just sat there and drank in the steam of the room.  Suddenly, she looked up and saw a shadow enter the bathroom.  “Ready or not, your hard working man is coming it” Jed shouted.  “I’m a dirty boy, so you better have a lotta soap in there for me”.  “You can only come in if you bring me a drink!  Then we’ll talk” was her reply.  “Come on beautiful, I’m sweaty and covered in dirt”  “I don’t care, I want a drink if I have to share my shower.  The whisky bottle is in the other room.  That’s the price of admission,” she said as she pressed her body against the shower glass.  “I’m all about that” he purred, “ You want ice in that?”  “Nope, just fill the tall glass and get in here.  Oh and turn some music on and dim the lights.

Fabulous, he thought to himself as he poured the whiskey.  This was the best gig around; if all the jobs were like this he wouldn’t get any work done.  He pushed play on the stereo and reached for the dimmer.  “It’s about time, I’m thirsty,” she said as she reached out to him and the glass.  With one arm around his neck, she ran the glass against his bare skin.  She poured a little whiskey on his chest and licked at it until she could taste the water of the shower.  One big gulp and the whiskey was gone.  She began to remove her bra and underwear as he watched.  The tiredness of the day washed away like the soap that covered her.  Her tongue longed for his mouth.  She grabbed him and pulled him to her.  His hands slid across her body as he caressed her breasts.  She let the warmth of the water comforted her as she let him take her.  She relished the comfort she felt right now.  He would be home tonight and the fights would start again.  She pushed these thoughts from her head and concerned herself with what was going on now.  She could feel goosebumps on her arms as the cold from the slate shower touched her back.  While she was lost in her thoughts, he had managed to sit her down in the shower and pleasure her.  She hadn’t even noticed.  “Jed, baby?  The kids are going to be home soon, I gotta get going…you almost done?”  He looked up to her in disbelief, a few more moments and he was done.  “Yeah, I’m good”.  She opened the shower door and buried herself in the warmth of her robe.   

She took the sleeve of her robe and wiped the steam off the mirror.  She stood for a moment staring at her reflection and considering the life she could lead.  She’d never really had friends, they were always people who could do something for her, and now look at what she had to show for it.  Although she had just celebrated her 19th wedding anniversary, she never felt like she had spent 20 years with this man she called her husband.  She looked over to the shower where she could hear Jed whistling and considered those implications as well.  Fifteen years her junior, he was still married as well.  It didn’t make it better that it was to her niece.  I’ve really stepped into it this time she thought.  As she reached for her electric toothbrush she felt the belt from her robe loosen “hmmmm minty fresh” he whispered in her ear as he kissed the back of her neck.  “You’re skin’s kinda dry, let me help with the lotion” he said as he slipped the robe off her shoulders.  She stood there, toothbrush in hand as he took the bottle of sweet waffle lotion off the shelf.  He unscrewed the cap and poured the lotion directly on her back.  She jumped from the shock of its chill.  “Don’t worry, it’ll heat up heat in a second” he said as he massaged the lotion over her back.  She sighed deeply and let his hands rub the tension from her.  He was now kissing her back as his hands moved on to her buttocks.   A soft moan escaped her lips before she could stop it.  “There you go,” he whispered.  She let out a deep breath she had unconsciously been holding in.  His hands moved around to her belly as he press his naked body against her.  She could feel him behind her and relaxed into him.  His hands slithered to caress her breasts.  He grabbed at them as she let leaned over the counter a little more.  His hands moved down to her hips as he pulled them toward him, his body tensing.  Much better, he thought, who cares if the husband will be home soon.  He relished every minute with her.  When they were together he shut the rest of the world out and forgot his problems.  He was now breathing heavy as he leaned into her; she pushed back and let out a quiet cry of pleasure.  Taking a second to relish in the relaxation of the moment, she let the worriedness of early leave her mind.  He turned her around and kissed her.  “You know how much I love your right?”  He asked.  She looked deeply into his dark eyes as if searching for an answer.  “mmm, phmmm” she nodded, but was really considering the life she could have with him.  They were both still married to other people.  They both had kids.  She didn’t have a job.  He was trying to start a roofing business, but it wasn’t going well. 

Margarita, the housekeeper went and got the children from school when she noticed Jed enter the bathroom.  She was the sister of Samantha’s old housekeeper who was getting ready to marry to a friend of Samantha’s husband, an old racing buddy.  The wedding was in a few days and Samantha was helping plan the party.  The festivities would be in Vegas, because where else can you party and get married in only a few days.   

Roarke Fitzsimmons was once a world class Indy driver, but now only raced on occasion.  Nearing 50 years old, he was still a handsome man and women still hit on him constantly.  Which bothered his wife, Samantha, but that’s who he was and she would just have to get used to it.  His gray-blue eyes, hidden behind his custom designed sunglasses, stared out the window of his jet.  She had been distant lately, what was wrong, he wondered.  Now he had to cut his European business trip short, so he could make it to Vegas for the wedding.  At least he’d be able to just sit and relax by the pool.  She loved the sun, and the wave pool at the Mandalay was her favorite.  He couldn’t wait for her to put on that tiny string bikini she had bought in Fiji.  That was a great trip even though their luggage had gotten lost.  They lived in next to nothing for three days until the airline finally found their bags. He longed for those simple days again.  Simple because even though he raced nearly every weekend, she was always there.  She traveled with him to all the races.  Nothing tied them down.  One week they were in Monte Carlo, the next Montreal.  Sure he didn’t come in first all the time, but his record was impeccable, everyone wanted a piece of him, and she had the biggest chunk, his heart. 

They met at a party in New York.  She was with a model friend of his and of course wanted nothing to do with him.  She didn’t even know who he was, and that’s what he liked about her.  That, and the fact she had a vast knowledge of cars.  Saying that she grew up with in the ghettos of Argentina with a mother who worked as a mechanic because her father died when she was only two.

“Daddy!!! What did you bring us?”  the kids yelled as they rushed to the door.  “Hugs first, presents later” Roarke told the kids.  “Now, where’s your mother, he asked, I’ve got presents for her too”.  Lola grabbed her father’s hand and led him to the media room where Samantha was watching a movie.
“Look Mama!” the 4 year old yelled. 
Samantha looked up from her beanbag chair.  “Hey there, I thought you were going to be later?” she lied.

When she was younger, family was never a big thing to her.  But now that she’s getting older and has kids, it means a little more to her.  She also never believed in divorced but the thoughts have been entering her mind lately.  The last couple of months had been hard, her and he was there for her.

That night she crossed over the line, she knew there would be no turning back.  The kids were in bed already and she had been drinking wine all day.  What else did she have to do. She’s always been the trophy wife but now she was almost 40.

She leaned back on the hair and could feel his arm draped across the back.  They had been at several events together, but this time she felt that she could just melt into arms and forget all the pain.  She sat on the edge of her chair, but could feel the butterflies in her stomach.  They had to been to several events together, but never really thought anything about it.  

Roarke was out of town for another race, so Jed took this opportunity to get closer to Sam.  He was familiar with the house because Samantha had let him and his wife stay there when they first moved to town.  The guest bedroom was on the opposite side of the house, but that was ok.  It was a tiny room that Sam used as her office.  Papers were strewn all over the room in haphazard piles.  Clothes from the laundry room hung from about.  It was almost like a jail cell because the only window in the room was a ceiling level.   After the kids fell asleep, she would go to his room to “tuck him in”.  She longed for a warm body next to her and his fit the bill. 

She was always alone the phone was her lifeline to the world.  It rang constantly, as soon as she would hang up, it would ring again and she would talk for hours with whoever called.  The only people she spoke with face to face were her kids and the help.  When she got out of the house, which was only to pick up the kids, the other mothers were always polite to her and said hello, but no one ever chatted with her.  She was always talking with the kids, who would come up and want to pet her dog Cha-cha, who she never left home without.

Cha-cha was a miniature poodle.  Her white fuzzy hair covered her eyes.  Whenever Samantha left, she would always yelp and whine to be included.  Sam usually acquiesced.  Cha-cha was used to traveling in the car, she would lie still in Sam’s lap as she drove, only moving if there was someone in the passenger seat.

Her husband was on an extended European trip.  Because of this Jed had moved his stuff in claiming to have to work on the roof early in the morning.  His crew would show up at the crack of dawn to unload, while he stayed and supervised from the comforts of the guest room.  The kids paid no attention to him.  The housekeeper, who spoke little English, would chat with him.  Although not Mexican himself, he had learnt it in able to tell his workers what to do.  Having only been in town for a few months, he was slowly building up a small clientele.  He specialized in installed metal roofing, which was a rare specialty in southern California. 

After dinner, with the kids playing in their rooms, Jed discussed the future with her.  Sure he was still married, but there were no hopes of reconciliation.  His wife had left him several months ago.  Moving across country with their 3-year-old child to be near her family.  Now in a city where she knew no one, she used drugs and alcohol to make friends.  She would lock up the baby in his room while she had wild nights of drinking.  Jed heard thru a mutual friend that the baby would yell and scream and she paid no attention to him while her drinking and drug buddies were over.  During one of the parties, the child had sustained a large cut on her arm and his wife hadn’t cared for it.  When Jed came to visit the baby he noticed the gash and reprimanded her and threatened that he would take the child away from her.  Their yelling had gotten so loud and vicious that a concerned neighbor had called the police.  When the police arrived, the wife claimed that Jed had cut the child and they escorted him out.  Because of his involvement with Samantha, Jed had called her to bail him out of jail and told her of her niece’s predicament.  Sam, who didn’t really involve herself in family matters went over to the house and took the child home with her.  When her niece discovered this she phoned Sam in a panic.  She didn’t want to have the child taken away.  But Sam knew the real reason, her niece was worried that the cheques would stop coming and she would have to get a job.  Sam patiently told her that she was just concerned for the baby and wanted to take him to the hospital to get the cut looked at.  Knowing she had been a bad mother, her niece again started screaming because she knew she had neglected her baby and the doctor would see that. 

The kids were at a sleep over so Jed and Sam had the house to themselves.  He had lit the house with candles.  They lay stretched on either side of the sectional couch both wrapped in a blanket to stave off the chill.  The movie played from the plasma, but they weren’t watching it.  She enjoyed this time because she could talk about anything she wanted and felt that Jed was really listening to her instead of just the uh huhs she would get from her husband.  He was always too caught up in his own world to bother with her, she thought as she took a long sip of red wine and gazed at the young vision in front of her.  Jed had been kicked out of the house and Samantha had been kind enough to let him stay.  He felt wounded by his wife and needed the companionship of a woman.  Instead of trolling the local bars, he realized what beauty he had in front of him.  He watched her as she walked back from the kitchen with the half empty bottle of wine.  “More wine?” she asked. 
“I’m not big on the stuff” he replied.
“Well, I have some beer in the fridge if you’d like? Or a rum and coke maybe?  I remember you drinking that before”
“A beer is fine, I’ll get it.  You just make yourself comfortable and let me take care of you tonight”
She watched as he walked away.  Quizzically, she wondered what was going on, as she felt a little uncomfortable.  They were both married people.  She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she just wanted some attention, and Jed, it seemed was ready to give it to her.  He returned from the kitchen with a drink, and some dessert. 
“A little chocolate would taste good with that wine”
“Where did you find that?” she asked, as she reached for a piece.
“I remember you mentioning that you like this stuff, so when I was at the store earlier picking up the food for dinner, I saw it as I was checking out and thought you would enjoy it.  I hope that was ok?”
She wasn’t sure if it was the wine or her aloneness, but she reached over and kissed him on the lips.
“Thank you for thinking about me, it’s a rare occurrence for me, I don’t even think Roarke would remember that”
A little taken aback by the kiss, he sat there in stunned silence.  He licked his lips and could taste her wine on them.  For a moment he just wanted to kiss her back, but thought against it.  He leaned back and sank into the couch trying to distract himself with the movie but she would have none of it.  She re-filled her wine glass to the top and cozied up to him.  Under the premise of being cold, she took the blanket and draped it across both of them and laid her head on his shoulder as they watch the movie in silence.  She could feel him tense up as a heated love scene play on screen.
“What’s wrong?” she asks?
“huh? Nothing”, he said trying to sink deeper into the couch.  Most times a love scene in a movie wouldn’t affect him.  But right now all he wanted was for her to kiss him again.  She must have sensed this, because she look up at him and kissed him again. This time, he gently reached for her face, pulling her closer.  As he did this, she pushed him down into the couch and she lay on top of him.  The kiss grew more intense as she rocked her body into his.  His hands moved up and down her back, pulling her buttocks into him.  She nuzzled kisses into his neck as she made her way down his body, unbuttoning his shirt as she went along.   The coolness of his belt buckle touched her chin as she look up to him.  In that moment it could’ve stopped.  He stare down at her urging her on with his eyes, his chest heaving with excitement.  She reached to undo the buckle, all the while staring at him.  In a way, she wanted him to stop her and say it was as wrong as she already knew it was.  But she just wanted a man’s love now, and continued to undo his pants.  He sat up as she did this and startled her.  He caught her blush.
“It’s ok, I just wanted to help you out,” he whispered in her ear as he pushed into the couch.  His hands reached under her shirt.  She let out a sigh as he rest on her breast, gently tugging at them.  Her hands slid down his half naked body and pushed his pants down.  She sat up now, as he helped her out of her top and fumbled with her bra.  His mouth kissed her chest as he glide his hands down her body, slipping her jogging pants off.  Now both naked, there hands were all over each other as they searched for comfort.  He spread the blanket out on the floor and lay her gently on it.  He pressed his body on top of hers.  His hands made their way down.  He caressed her as he gently slid his finger into her.  A surge of ecstasy hit her suddenly as she pulled him closer.  Her hips moved into his hands begging for more.  As they kissed, her hand found him as she jerked him off.  With a deep pant, she rolled him over on his back and mounted him.  She was always nervous to do this with her husband, because she felt he would be judging her, but with him it didn’t matter.  She reached for him and without thinking of a condom, sat comfortably on him.  His hands grabbed at her ass as she leaned her d-cup breast into his face.  His lips soon found them and she gasped with pleasure.  Their hips now moved with more urgency.  As she thrust, she could feel the suckle of lips on her nipples and was wild.  She found her spot and rode it.  His hands now holding her breasts as they bounced with delight.  Her moans grew more fervent.  He wiped his brow, he could taste the sweat.  One big thrust and she collapsed onto his chest.  She looked shyly up to him and apologized.  This was the first time they had spoken in an hour.
“Don’t be” he said with a knowing wink and kissed her.  The kisses more gentle this time, but they could still feel the electricity in the air.  She lie on her back and thrust her hips into him as if inviting him in for more.  Taking the cue, he rolled her onto her stomach and started rubbing her back.  A moan of relaxation escaped her. 
“I’ve been told that most people hold their tension in their butt, how does this feel?” he asked as he began massaging her buttocks.  Another moan of pleasure escaped.  As he knelt over her, he slowly made his way on top of her pushing himself into her.  A quiet squeal with delight was his cue.  He returned to kneeling and picked her up by her waist into him.  Sensing this she moved to all four, arching her back with delight.  He leaned over her, as he pressed deeper inside.  His hands now on her breast rocking back and forth as they both pant and moan. 

  • He got a tattoo with her name on his forearm.

  • One of his workers, a black man slept in his car in the front yard, and then later when she was asleep, he let him into the house for drinks and he stole her I-phone. 

  • Having taken some coke, they got into a heated argument and he punched at the front car window, causing it to spider.

  • Roarke finds out about the romance and kicks her out.  Tired of her infidelity in his house.  Depressed from this, and tired of arguing, Samantha checks herself into the psyche ward of the hospital.  The neighbors were concerned when they came home to find the street blocked by two emergency vehicles blocking the street.  George, the neighbor from across the street watched as the paramedics wheeled Samantha to the ambulance.

  • Gone for another week, right before thanksgiving, Samantha is constantly on the phone with Roarke.  Their maid cannot ask her anything because Roarke is always calling to yell at her.


While she was out with the kids, Roarke went out with some of these friends.  She called him to ensure that he was getting ready for the concert, but was disappointed to find that he wasn’t answering his phone.  2 hours later, when he finally called back, she agreed to meet him at the bar only to be disappointed that he had been there for hours now and was in no shape to be driving.  He insisted on driving home as his decision frustrated her.  Hoping he would follow her, she took the back streets home, only to see him making a u-turn down the main street home.  She pulled up beside him and yelled at him.  Scolding him for being stupid enough to drive recklessly down the street.    As the light turned green he waited until she drove away and followed behind.   As soon as they arrived home, he sat at the kitchen table and waited for her to get ready.  Instead she grabbed a magazine and sat on the couch to read it.  She looked over to see him slumped over in his chair fast asleep.  Just as she suspected, they were not going to the concert she had been talking about for the last month and had been jamming to them in the car earlier in the hopes of getting in the mood for the concert. 

She missed the innocence of childhood.  Like getting dressed in your warmest pajama and falling asleep on the couch waiting for Santa.  Then waking to find all the presents under the tree.  The house lit only by the glow of the Christmas tree.  When you look out the window all you can see is the white fluffiness of snow covering your world.  Those days were gone now.  Those feeling cannot be recreated in southern California when you live on the beach.  The chill from the ocean air is not the same as a –30 windchill.

She lay on her bed, head buried in her pillow.  She could feel his warm body next to her, she tried to match her breathing to his.  He let out deep exhales as if in an enjoyable dream.  If only that were true.  Tomorrow she would have to pack her bags and move out.  Their fight had lasted late into the morning and he had been nice enough to let her stay and not kick her out into the night.  But after she dropped the kids off at school, she was to come home and pick up her things and leave.  Luckily, Jed had his own place now, so she would have to move in there for a day or two, because the novelty of it would wear out quickly.  Roarke had spoken of how he had lost all trust in her.  Now that he was older, he was more focused on taking care of his family, but he had never really been around, so Samantha found it hard to take orders from him.  Because he had always lived the wild life of a world-class race car driver, he always had the pick of women.  All he had to do was point at the bevy of women and she would giggle her way to his room and Samantha knew this.  He had once told her the story of how his girlfriend at the time had flown to Florida to watch his race.  She happily met him at lunch at an expensive restaurant, while reporters sat around and interviewed the racers.  He had told her that he would be late for lunch because his publicist had forgotten to tell him about an interview.  What had really happened was that Roarke borrowed his mechanics room key and took some groupie up there for a quickie.  He then went downstairs and met his girlfriend like nothing had happened.    This was only one story, he had dozens of them and Samantha knew it.  How could he sit there and judge her now that she was in search of someone to take care of her and that wanted to be with her, not just sex.  She didn’t have any friends aside from the other mothers she spoke briefly with at school functions.  Jed was her only contact with the outside world and he was young and into her, that’s what made it so appealing.  She drove up to the house to find her bags on the front step and a locksmith working on the door.  Instead of fighting more, she picked up her bags and placed them in the rear of her Mercerdes and drove away.  It was only 9 am, but she just wanted to be alone.  She drove down Ventura Boulevard looking for a sign.  And there it was, Spud’s Beer Bucket Open 6am, parking in back.  She pulled into the back lot and found several cars already there.  I’ll have vodka tonic, she told the bartender.  “Sure thing hun” said the older woman behind the bar.  Samantha looked around the bar at the other early drinkers. 
“You wanna see a menu hun? We’re still serving breakfast.”
“Really?  Geez, now that you mention it, I haven’t eaten since yesterday, what do you recommend?” Sam asked.
“Well I’m kinda partial to poached eggs myself” the bartender offered.
“Hmmph, I’ve never had those, are they good?” Sam said with a scared look.
“They make’em real good here”
“Are they runny? Because I like my eggs a little burnt, just to make sure they’re cooked.”
“You like oysters?  They’re kinda the consistency of that”
“You have Red Hot sauce?”
“Sure do!”
“Ok, since I’m starting new life, why not! And give me a shot of tequila when they’re ready”
“Sure thing hun.  I’m Ethel, if you need anything, give me a holler, I’m gonna get your food started”
“Great” Samantha said with a grin.  Why not, she had nothing to lose really, her life as she had know it for the past 10 years was slowly slipping away.  At least she still had a credit card that was being paid for.  She’d never had a job, so what was she going to do for money.  She had just started making jewelry, but hadn’t really sold anything yet, so it was yet to be known if that would work or not. 
“Hey there pretty lady, mind if I join you?” a gravelly voice asked.
She turned to a toothless grinning older man, and looked at the plethora of open bar stools.  “If you must” she said with the wave of her hand.  This wasn’t really her idea of being alone, she thought as sipped her drink.
“Hey there Chester, the usual?” Ethel asked.
“You know it, and bring something here for my new friend….” He leaned towards Sam.  Sam stared blankly past him.”…here” she finished. 
Ethel looked to Sam.  “Vodka Tonic?”   She nodded.  “You’re eggs’ll be out in a quick second, Miguel is just finishing ‘em up”
“Don’t forget my Tequila, and make it a double, with a lime.”

Samantha thought of her childhood.  Her father, Helmut, was an ex-Nazi who had fled Germany towards the end of the war.  His first wife had been his high-school sweetheart.  They got married when he enlisted, but she had died in the bombing in Dresden in 1945.   Olga was the perfect wife; she took pride in the fact that her husband was an SS officer.  She believed in Hilter’s cause and couldn’t wait to start to procreate.  She died in their home, she was still in her early 20’s and four months pregnant.  Helmut was ntotifed of the death while he was a guard at Berginbelsin.  Things weren’t going well for the party at the time and he was working at getting out of the country.  He had heard rumours of higher ups fleeing to Argentina because Juan Perrone was sympathetic to their cause.     He had met her mother while traveling the Argentinian countryside.  Patagonia reminded him of home.  He longed to return to the hills and greenness of Germany, but knew it was unsafe.  While reading the local papers, he had noticed how the international tribunal had been tracking down retired SS troops.  In some areas people had taken the law into their own hands.  He met her mother at a café in Patagonia.  Katherine was drawn to him instantly because he didn’t look like the rest of the locals and he didn’t look like the tourists either.  They got married shortly after they met. 


Danielle, her assistant returned to find her.  Sam sat in the chair, clutching the card in her hand.  Tears were now welling up in her eyes as she waited for the attendant to return.  The reality of the past twenty-four hours was now hitting her.  Hours earlier, the police were at her house responding to her premature 911 call.  She had tried to cancel it, but it was too late.  She had given him 2 valium in an attempt to calm him.  His energy was wild, too many drugs in his system.  Having beat up a random friend, then taking out his anger on her.  She lay on the ground her arms covering her head to protect it from his blows.  She peered out from behind her shield to see him getting ready to kick her head.  Her scream was deafening and made him stop.  Instead he kicked the chair beside her.   Her body shook in terror.  These were the images running through her head now as the nurse came to collect her.  During the nurse’s questioning, all her control was lost.   Danielle stood there at a loss, earlier in the day when she arrived at Samantha’s to find a police car there, she feared the worst.  The police explained that Samantha was refusing medical attention, and that should she start to feel sick, she should go to the hospital.  Danielle sat there and listened to Samantha calmly recount the events.  Leaving Samantha sleep a bit. As the nurse continued to question Samantha, her answers became incomprehensible.  As she sobbed, Danielle attempted to answer the nurse’s questions.   The nurse went to check on a room availability, Samantha reached out to Danielle for comfort,