I just don't get it

Ok, I have many issues going on in this one.
Please explain to me how the heck you get an agent? I have seen some pretty pathetic people out there and they have an agent. I don't think I'm that bad, I'm constantly going out on auditions that I'm getting myself, yet I can't get an agent. Go figure? Why can't there just be some class that I can take and "poof" learn everything that I'll ever need to know.
And while I'm at it, I'll also live in a perfect world, and where there won't be scammers in the world trying to steal these peoples hopes and dreams. Actors make NOTHING!!! I don't think regular people get that, these people are starving for a one in a billion chance to hit fame. Sure they're out here calling themselves actors, but so are 999,999 other people. What other industry in the world are people so mistreated, where it is expected that you make nothing to make a short film, while the other end of the movie spectrum they are making millions for a few days work. Don't these movie stars remember where they came from? They were just here at the bottom a few years ago, what happens?
People out there in the real world think of Hollywood they think when you say you were in a movie that they'll see it shortly at a theatre near them. Or that when you're in L.A. busting your ass working minimum wage as an "extra" people back home in BFE, gather around the T.V. to see you, or I should say search for you and miss you, on the weekly network show. But little do they know that here in the land of dreams, that you poor extra, are the bottom of the barrel.
Now back to my agent problem. Ok, I am not the blond gorgeous tall person, nor am I ugly character missing tooth actor, I am middle of the road ethnic. I have seen other people's resumes with less, AND THEY HAVE AN AGENT!
Just tell me the secret.....please, I promise I'll come back and help the little people when I'm making millions.....please?