Sunday, March 24, 2013

DONE!!!

I have hit the wall.  I am 76 days into class and I feel no futher ahead when I came to my first class.  I should be at class 12, but I've missed 3 classes already.  2 due to work, I can't say no to work, because we need money, I'm going to miss another class next week, again due to work, but hopefully that will be the end of it.  In those 76 days that I have supposedely been writing every day.  I have not been doing that because I  am tired of writing.  If I sit down and write more material it, it will just further drown me.  I say drown, because it's more material saying something similiar that I've said before, and just adding to log jam of material. 
I'm supposed to be performing 10 minutes of my show tonight.  I say supposed to because I just broke down.  I have been trying to put the finishing touches on just 10 minutes for the show.  I sat there most of the morning writing and re-writing the same 1 paragraph.  Did you know that 10 minutes of a show is 14 000 words.  When said like that it doesn't seem like a lot, but once you start typing and counting, it's a ton of bricks that is hanging over your head.  It's even worst when you are typing in Word, there is a little word counter in corner. 
I'm at a loss.  I don't know what to do, or how to do it.  When I signed up for the class I felt great, like I was going to get something accomplished.  yet I don't feel very accomplished and I am certainly not having any fun.  Direction is lacking and I feel alone.  Sure there are other people in class with me, but I only see them once a week (when I can make it to class) and the kinship to our mututal goal is short lived.
It's getting late.  I'm going to try and write, maybe I'll make it to the performance tonight.