An empty space

My head is empty, blank.  I don't know what to feel about this situation.  Every day that I spend here makes me doubt the choices I have made.  This hurts my head even more.  I kinds don't want to know the truth, because then all this time I have spent on my soapbox will be time wasted.  Argh! I hate this.  I wish I could be like those people.  Just believe it will be OK and it will, believe that you deserve good stuff and wait for it to happen.  Always put the positive spin on everything.  Everything has to have a point to it.  A purpose, if not then what's the point?  There has to be a point to everything you do, because that's what your philosophy is.   You think happy thoughts to accomplish something, you do things to get somewhere.  Not just for nothing.