Thursday, December 30, 2004

What's tsunami you?

I think I'm a cold hearted bastard. If I actually said the following out loud, to people, I think I would be lynched, but it has to be said.  When I hear about the UN crying that the U.S. is stingy, I wonder what the big deal is really. Give them a couple bucks and the shacks should be good to go. When a third world country gets hit with a natural disaster, how much does it really cost to fix nothing? We're going to send them millions and millions of dollars to build a new country for them, not fix what they had. How fucked up is that? What is also fucked up are the comments that some people make regarding the U.S. "Always sticking their nose where is doesn't belong". Fine! they'll stay out of this one ok, and they'll keep their money too. So don't cry when someone else has to foot the bill. Don't get me wrong, I'm not American, and I think their gung-ho attitude is a little too cavalier, but if you're going to tell them to stay home during wars, shouldn't they also stay home when the world wants money?Let me take this one step further. I feel bad when I hear the stories and see the pictures of the devastation. But isn't this Darwin at work "survival of the fittest"? Like the world needs another model, poor Petra. Who gives a rats ass about some supermodel. Reports of her harrowing survival are all over the news. There are a lot more people who have stories too. But enough is enough, is there nothing else going on in the world that we can be sad for?  How can news reporters sleep at night? When they look at how the moral fiber of the U.S has decayed, they should consider their contribution to it. But that's for another day. Happy New Year.  More interesting comments click here.

Sunday, December 5, 2004

Good or Bad, there's no hockey

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was hopeful, with last week's news that the players association wanted to meet, and were bringing a deal with them. But after news of the meeting, it looks like they'll be no hockey this season. It's certainly a sad day for hockey.

Why????? In the beginning I thought, "screw those overpriced, divaesque, money-grubbing hockey players!" They're getting paid to PLAY A SPORT. Just be happy that you skated (no pun intended) through school, have a degree, yet are still playing the sport you loved as a child. You overgrown peewee crybaby.

But I've been reading the various sites that carry news of the strike, and I'm beginning to feel bad for all the name calling. One example is next year's projected top draft pick, with the salary cap he'll only be making $850,000 - a $400,000 cut, with no signing bonuses.

I feel real bad that this "20-something year old man" will be ONLY making $850,000. Why doesn't anyone realize if they start small, there's more room to grow from? As opposed to paying them the most when they start out, they could get hurt on the first game? OOOOh what an investment there? (Look at other sports that have paid through the nose to get rookie players, think Lebron James and others).

And I do feel bad for these grown men who have lost the love of the game. Can't they remember when they were on the travel team, getting up early, loading into some parent's car to go a game? When the arenas were just the ice-rinks with thin plywood walls around them and a few bleachers to keep the chill and snow off the spectators. Looking up from the ice after you'd scored a goal to see the crowd cheering. Getting the tacky team photo that your mom insisted on buying, the whole family could wear a button with your face on it? Remember rockin' out to someone's boombox in the locker room, getting "pumped" up for a game.

These are the memories that made hockey great for me, and there are so many more. Sure I can sit here and criticize the players for wanting more money because I'm not getting paid, but every week when I'm out there on the ice skating with my team, I'm thankful that I can still play.

Let's hope that from this is a new appreciation for the sport is created. And the future hall of famers don't just see dollar signs in their eyes, but an appreciation of the opportunities given too them.

WTF!!!! Damn I sound sappy. Just wake the fuck up and play!

Come to your own conclusion....

The Salem News, Yahoo Sports - NHL Lockout Log, ESPN, Sports Illustrated and a fanbased site.

This quote is from USA Today:

"The thing that intrigues me about the leagues proposal Tuesday is the way it might sit in households of individual NHL players. According to the NHL, 91.8% of the players will have to play for 24% or less of their salaries under the new proposal, and 75% would play for 20% or less reduction in pay. Forty-four percent would have no reduction at all. It's a Robin Hood scenario. Let the ultra-rich take the biggest hit. I would think an enormous majority of players sat at dinner tables last night thinking: "I was willing to go back to work for a 24-percent reduction, and now they'll let me go back for 20% reduction (or less), and my union shot this down?"

Friday, December 3, 2004

Mascots offensive to Native Americans

Read full article at Eastern Michigan University. (2009 Update*This article is no longer online) This issue was at first a no-brainer. Hell no! Remove all Mascots plain and simple. But reading articles, as well as watching a recent HBO special on the subject, and checking out poles, I discovered that most Natives could care less on the subject. But as the saying goes, "the squeeky wheel gets the grease". Who do these natives think they are serving? Sure I think it's terrible that words and symbols are being used in incorrect terms, but lets unite our own people before going off and rallying. This just shows us as more ignorant.I do think today's values and Political correctness are missplaced, and gone to the extreme. With everyone trying to be something that they're not, why not just educated people, instead of trying to shove your agenda down people's throats. What's the saying, cut off my nose to spite my face? does that work here?

Documenting Genocide, Floyd Red Crow Westerman

By Virginia Perez BROOKINGS, S.D.America had concentration camps long before Adolf Hitler's Germany, says Floyd Red Crow Westerman, and the Native activist is pushing that provocative message with his planned documentary on the holocaust of the American Indian. Westerman, born in 1936 on the Sisseton-Wahpeton reservation in South Dakota, and told an audience of students, faculty, friends and family at South Dakota State University that his description is not exaggerated. "Reservations were concentration camps, and we couldn't leave them so they were concentration camps," he said during his appearance Oct. 19. The federal government dehumanized Indian people and used two tools—the bullet and smallpox-infected blankets—to try exterminating them, according to Westerman. The gift of a blanket represents respect in many Indian cultures, he added, and using a tainted blanket to spread smallpox was the first instance of biological warfare against American Indians. Westerman, an actor and musician, outlined his views in promoting a documentary he is writing and producing. It is titled "Exterminate Them!—America's War on Indian Nations." According to Westerman, the series will look at the Indian holocaust region by region, starting with California Indian history. Although he has no formal agreement to broadcast the work, Westerman cited PBS and The History Channel as possible outlets for the series. Historical Resources According to Westerman's Web site, www.eyapaha.net, the documentary will utilize historical resources, tribal elders, historians and community leaders. The series will also feature celebrity cameos and an original soundtrack with Indian and non-Indian musicians. For some people in Westerman's audience, the holocaust comparison was apt. "I thought it was neat because I never thought of that, because I visited the Holocaust museum in Washington, D.C., and I never related it to that," said Paula Garcia, a Navajo and Acoma Pueblo. "I never thought of the reservations as concentration camps, but if you compare it to that, it was," said Garcia, who attends SDSU as an exchange student from Eastern New Mexico University. Marie High Bear, a Cheyenne River Lakota and journalism major, agreed. "It was good how he compared it [government policy] to the Jewish extermination," she said. "He made a good point there." During his talk, Westerman said that when it is established that a holocaust has occurred, there are provisions under international law to restore the wealth of holocaust victims. "I tell a lot of young people that we should go back to the old ways to heal," he said. "America will heal too, once they realize their wrongs." Native Americans in the audience were not the only ones who reacted positively to Westerman. "I think that he made the Native American perspective very visible to the whites that were present, and I think quite frankly he's a remarkable man," said Del Lonowski, a political science professor at SDSU. 'The BS Theory' On other subjects, Westerman challenged the anthropological theory that America was populated by Eurasians traveling across a land mass over the Bering Straits. He scoffed at that and said it was intended to show that Indians were not America's Native inhabitants and to allow others to take their land. "We call it the BS theory," he said. On the environment, Westerman said pollution has thrown everything out of balance. The evidence is in frogs with six heads and in children with cancer, he said. Westerman reminded his listeners of the Lakota phrase "Mitakuye Oyasin" that prays for harmony of all forms of life. "Everybody is so distracted by things for the self," Westerman said. "They don't care about their relatives anymore. The SUV shows how we feel about the environment. To turn this around, we need to go back to the earth and live with the earth spiritually." To address the nation's political shortcomings, Westerman suggested looking to the past, to the clan mothers. He said that the House and the Senate should be divided equally between men and women and that the women should have the final word. "The clan mothers ran everything and had the last word," he said. "I think that's the answer." Westerman closed the evening with what he said he loved to do best—playing music on his guitar—and he included folk and rap songs for his audience of about 60 people. article from groovinnativebeats@yahoogroups.com

Found on the Web


Natives must educate America, or perish Growing anti-Indian movements threaten to destroy many of the gains that Indian country has made Koichi Kamoshida/Getty Images file Anti-Indian movements might be angling to utilize California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger as a spokesperson to greatly raise their public profiles. Full Article at MSNBCI did not grow up on the reservation, but have seen more than enough of it, because of my involvement as an adult working in the various levels of tribal government. My grandparents left the rez many years ago because of the in-fighting. The MSNBC article disturbed me very much. How can one group of people in this day and age, have so much hatred towards them? How can people be banding together to form ANTI-INDIAN organization, is this not the 21st century? What happened? Oh, I know, we're making money and this pisses people off, because they're not getting any. I encountered this first hand this weekend while at a holiday party. A friend of the host's, in an effort to make conversation with me, was telling me about her neighbor and how all he did all day was sit at home and collect money. I didn't quite understand so I asked: what does he do? Nothing, he's Indian and he get casino money. Oh, this is going to be a good one, so I grabbed my drink, sat back and listened further. At this point, I've only met this girl once before, and not really spoken much with her, so she has no idea of my background, forget that I have dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin and high cheekbones, never mind that most people with a brain don't figure me as Caucasian, but I digress. She explained to me that now her and her sister were looking into their roots and they really weren't sure on where to look for information, and what did I think about it. How they thought that since their neighbor was entitled to this free money, she should be too, since she was Indian. In an effort to keep me from shaking her violently, I asked questions. Such as: so what tribe are you? oh! you don't know, it's your grandfather who knows because he's the Indian, oh! he doesn't know either? Note to self: If have a claim to something, at least know what you're claiming, she had no idea, and your grandparents obviously knew they didn't have enough of a claim, that they didn't even bother. Let me further explain that this neighbor of hers is affiliated to a California tribe (of which she did not know which one) and she was from back east and thought that "they must be connected somehow". Her next comment was what drew me out of my calm and serene place. "Well these people should be happy (meaning the tribal members) that we're trying to find out our heritage". At which point I told her point blank "THEY DON'T WANT YOU" (you money grubbing whore (I wanted to say that but was attempting to have a grown-up discussion without name calling)), why should a tribe want someone if just to give them money, someone who really has no interest, much less knowledge about their heritage. Why would a tribe want to help propagate more ignorance and negative stereotypes about them, from this money grubbing whore. After an hour or so of conversation, I just had to but an end to the discussion, because "it was still free money" and she did not get it. It's situation like this that I would like to avoid, if only rez indians would come together and wake the fuck up of what is going on in the world around them.Read the article and come to your own conclusions.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

I just don't get it

Ok, I have many issues going on in this one.
Please explain to me how the heck you get an agent? I have seen some pretty pathetic people out there and they have an agent. I don't think I'm that bad, I'm constantly going out on auditions that I'm getting myself, yet I can't get an agent. Go figure? Why can't there just be some class that I can take and "poof" learn everything that I'll ever need to know.
And while I'm at it, I'll also live in a perfect world, and where there won't be scammers in the world trying to steal these peoples hopes and dreams. Actors make NOTHING!!! I don't think regular people get that, these people are starving for a one in a billion chance to hit fame. Sure they're out here calling themselves actors, but so are 999,999 other people. What other industry in the world are people so mistreated, where it is expected that you make nothing to make a short film, while the other end of the movie spectrum they are making millions for a few days work. Don't these movie stars remember where they came from? They were just here at the bottom a few years ago, what happens?
People out there in the real world think of Hollywood they think when you say you were in a movie that they'll see it shortly at a theatre near them. Or that when you're in L.A. busting your ass working minimum wage as an "extra" people back home in BFE, gather around the T.V. to see you, or I should say search for you and miss you, on the weekly network show. But little do they know that here in the land of dreams, that you poor extra, are the bottom of the barrel.
Now back to my agent problem. Ok, I am not the blond gorgeous tall person, nor am I ugly character missing tooth actor, I am middle of the road ethnic. I have seen other people's resumes with less, AND THEY HAVE AN AGENT!
Just tell me the secret.....please, I promise I'll come back and help the little people when I'm making millions.....please?

Who are the Mashantucket Pequot?


Full article Dorreen Yellow BirdOh this one was a good one, with a title like "On the 'Indianness' of Indians" you knew it was going to dig up some dirt. We open with the introduction of the new National Museum of the American Indian in D.C. With this new opening, came a flood of "indians" and I use that term very loosely now-a-days. (In my mind, if you're not a card carrying member, shut the fuck up!)I particularly liked the article because she brings to light the numerous people who make claim to their heritage and look nothing like the stereotypical Indian."It was then that I realized my knowledge of Indian tribes needed reorienting. The influence of Indian gaming probably is the reason I am seeing a new kind of Indian. For example, the tribal chairman from the Mashantucket Pequot, whom I saw at the press conference, looked black rather than Native American. His aide did, too. I realize that for the past 20 or so years, I haven't gotten out much past Canada and the states surrounding North Dakota. The Indian people in this area usually are Dakota, Lakota, Nakota, Chippewa or from the Three Affiliated Tribes - Arikara, Mandan and Hidatsa. And I absolutely know there are Native Americans who are mixed blood; I have blond grandchildren, for example. But these two Pequot men certainly turned my head when they walked into the room. Since that press conference, I have paid more attention to Indian gaming issues. "A good read that I plan on looking into is "Without Reservation: How a controversial Indian tribe rose to power and built the world's largest casino," by Jeff Benedict. It's about the Mashantucket Pequot. Granted the Mashantucket Pequot give money to their people, regardless of tribal affiliation, so at least their giving back to the community."Over the next 30 years, the reservation grew to 2,000 acres and 600 people claiming to be Pequot. Their Foxwoods casino grosses more than $1 billion a year. There is a murmuring in Indian country about tribes who, it seems, have jumped on the bandwagon because federal benefits and, more recently, casino wealth. ""So it twisted my gut a little when I saw Thomas boasting about their Indian gaming successes. In some parts of Indian country, a word used to describe these tribes is "opportunists," not Indian people trying to regain a culture and language. That word crosses my mind on occasion, too. And I still have questions about the federal government and Congress' role in granting federal recognition. " I like that word opportunists. I'll have to use it instead of my choice word "money grubbing-whore", it makes me sound intelligent rather than just another pissed off indian. I'm glad I'm not the only person out there wondering about these things, especially since she writes a weekly column. Maybe it'll put a bug in the ear of some people, and they'll wonder why too!




An example of not listening to yourself...


"there's no getting around it. it has to happen sometimes in order to progress in the formation of oneself. and it's a good thing to know onself (what one is, wants, and feels) rather than to have others determine them for you." or "...but i think that when you actually take the time to reflect and observe yourself, the people around you, and the things you keep around you, you learn a lot about yourself and what makes you you. "


My first impression of the above statement was "WHAT THE @#$%^!" It was uttered by someone whom I haven't heard from in months. I've tried to contact this person since our last visit to no avail, so I was getting ready to write them off, and lo and behold I get a note from them sputtering the above nonsense. (see refer to past posts about energy and karma)



I say nonsense because I think it sounds very Zen and for the area we live in, very gimmicky. I also don't want to believe that people actually talk like that, and if they do they should keep their granola munching, hemp wearing selves away from me.



Ok, it's jealousy on my part, I want to be like that! That's it! Eureka! Whatever. The more I babble on, I think that I just want to be apart of something bigger than myself...oooh listen to me now. My problem is that I'm constantly trying to be different that everyone else, that I don't want to sound like the hokey schmokies of the world.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Indian Mascots

What really is there to say on the subject, people are usually on either side of the issue, but recently, I have come to consider that yeah it is a terrible thing. The following is an article from the Fresno Bee.

Professor critiques Indian mascots Kansas instructor tells Fresno college audience about lack of sensitivity.

"Professor Cornel D. Pewewardy brought tiny toy soldiers and Indians with him Thursday to Fresno City College, telling students they were "tools of genocide," the dominant culture's depreciating of American Indian history.

Pewewardy is on the faculty of the Department of Teaching and Leadership at the University of Kansas in Lawrence. He was a featured speaker during American Indian Heritage Month at City College. The title of his talk in the Student Lounge was "The Indian Mascot Controversy," in which he argued that sports teams' use of Indian mascots merely represents the most obvious way that American Indians suffer demeaning treatment in their own land."

To see the full article: http://www.fresnobee.com/local/story/9451075p-10360599c.html

Friday, November 19, 2004

Thanksgiving a celebration of genocide


I found this online, and would like to share it. I did not write it.


THANKSGIVING A CELEBRATION OF GENOCIDE
By Laura Eliff, Vice President Native American Student Association


Thanksgiving is a holiday where families gather to share stories, football games are watched on television and a big feast is served. It is also the time of the month when people talk about Native Americans. But does one ever wonder why we celebrate this national holiday? Why does everyone give thanks? History is never simple.


The standard history of Thanksgiving tells us that the "Pilgrims and Indians" feasted for three days, right? Most Americans believe that there was some magnificent bountiful harvest. In the Thanksgiving story, are the "Indians" even acknowledged by a tribe? No, because everyone assumes "Indians" are the same. So, who were these Indians in 1621? In 1620, Pilgrims arrived on the Mayflower naming the land Plymouth Rock. One fact that is always hidden is that the village was already named Patuxet and the Wampanoag Indians lived there for thousands of years.


To many Americans, Plymouth Rock is a symbol. Sad but true many people assume, "It is the rock on which our nation began." In 1621, Pilgrims did have a feast but it was not repeated years thereafter. So, it wasn't the beginning of a Thanksgiving tradition nor did Pilgrims call it a Thanksgiving feast. Pilgrims perceived Indians in relation to the Devil and the only reason why they were invited to that feast was for the purpose of negotiating a treaty that would secure the lands for the Pilgrims. The reason why we have so many myths about Thanksgiving is that it is an invented tradition. It is based more on fiction than fact.


So, what truth ought to be taught? In 1637, the official Thanksgiving holiday we know today came into existence. (Some people argue it formally came into existence during the Civil War, in 1863, when President Lincoln proclaimed it, which also was the same year he had 38 Sioux hung on Christmas Eve.) William Newell, a Penobscot Indian and former chair of the anthropology department of the University of Connecticut, claims that the first Thanksgiving was not "a festive gathering of Indians and Pilgrims, but rather a celebration of the massacre of 700 Pequot men, women and children."


In 1637, the Pequot tribe of Connecticut gathered for the annual Green Corn Dance ceremony. Mercenaries of the English and Dutch attacked and surrounded the village; burning down everything and shooting whomever try to escape. The next day, Newell notes, the Governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony declared: "A day of Thanksgiving, thanking God that they had eliminated over 700 men, women and children." It was signed into law that, "This day forth shall be a day of celebration and thanksgiving for subduing the Pequots." Most Americans believe Thanksgiving was this wonderful dinner and harvest celebration. The truth is the "Thanksgiving dinner" was invented both to instill a false pride in Americans and to cover up the massacre. Was Thanksgiving really a massacre of 700 "Indians"? The present Thanksgiving may be a mixture of the 1621 three-day feast and the "Thanksgiving" proclaimed after the 1637 Pequot massacre.


So next time you see the annual "Pilgrim and Indian display" in a shopping window or history about other massacres of Native Americans, think of the hurt and disrespect Native Americans feel. Thanksgiving is observed as a day of sorrow rather than a celebration. This year at Thanksgiving dinner, ponder why you are giving thanks. William Bradford, in his famous History of the Plymouth Plantation, celebrated the Pequot massacre: "Those that scraped the fire were slaine with the sword; some hewed to peeces, others rune throw with their rapiers, so as they were quickly dispatchte, and very few escapted. It was conceived they thus destroyed about 400 at this time. It was a fearful sight to see them thus frying in the fyer, and the streams of blood quenching the same, and horrible was the stincke and sente there of, but the victory seemed a sweete sacrifice, and they gave the prayers thereof to God, who had wrought so wonderfully for them, thus to inclose their enemise in their hands, and give them so speedy a victory over so proud and insulting an enimie." The Pequot massacre came after the colonists, angry at the murder of an English trader suspected by the Pequots of kidnapping children, sought revenge. rather than fighting the dangerous Pequot warriors, John Mason and John Underhill led a group of colonists and Native allies to the Indian fort in Mystic, and killed the old men, women, and children who were there. Those who escaped were later hunted down. The Pequot tribe numbered 8,000 when the Pilgrims arrived, but disease had brought their numbers down to 1,500 by 1637. The Pequot "War" killed all but a handful of remaining members of the tribe. Proud of their accomplishments, Underhill wrote a book (above) depicted the burning of the village, and even made an illustration (below) showing how they surrounded the village to kill all within it. - John K. Wilson Link to Above Report The First Thanksgiving The year was 1637. 700 men, women and children of the Pequot Tribe, gathered for their "Annual Green Corn Dance" in the area that is now known as Groton, Conn. While they were gathered in this place of meeting, they were surrounded and attacked by mercenaries of the English and Dutch. The Indians were ordered from the building and as they came forth, they were shot down. The rest were burned alive in the building. The next day, the Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony declared : A day of Thanksgiving, thanking God that they had eliminated over 700 men, women and children. For the next 100 years, every "Thanksgiving Day" ordained by a Governor or President was to honor that victory, thanking God that the battle had been won. Source: Documents of Holland, 13 Volume Colonial Documentary History, letters and reports form colonial officials to their superiors and the King in England and the private papers of Sir William Johnson, British Indian agent for the New York colony for 30 years Researched by William B. Newell (Penobscot Tribe) Former Chairman of the University of Connecticut Anthropology Department. 1637-When the Green Corn Dance Turned to Blood

Monday, October 4, 2004

The Robin Williams Peace plan

It amazes me the stuff that floats around on the internet. This is an email I received lately at my work address. It surprised me that someone would think to send me this, especially one of my co-workers, because I do not discuss my "world" views with many people, again b/c they differ from the majority. So read on.....
Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan .. what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.

1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past &present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those good ol' boys: We will never "interfere" again.

2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.

3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" (for "deport") and it's back home baby.

6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the Army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE... Now, ain't that a winner of a plan. The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"

Friday, October 1, 2004

Anger Issues

Since starting this blog last week, I have been consumed with things I can write about, and I realized what a raving lunatic I am. Ok, maybe raving lunatic is a little strong, but I am an angry person, and I do not have patience for a lot of things, and have been making list upon list of what to blog about. The list consisted primarily of things that pissed me off. But something at that moment stopped me from publishing them (oh, they will be published eventually).

I am not one of those "spiritual people" or "hippy types" or however you describe them, but I do believe that you can talk yourself into something. Let me explain.

Ok, I don't like to say I was raised catholic. I went to catholic elementary school and had to go to mass on every holiday, but this is the only time I attended church. I went public high school when it was still ok to say the lord's prayer in the morning and I was always resentful of the

Jehovah witness kids who stood out in the hallway and could be late for homeroom, so they didn't have to pray with us.

But I am by no means religious, I have questioned the existence of god since I was in 2nd grade and did my first communion. Some would argue that I shouldn't have gone through with the ceremony, but I was eight years old, and my parent's couldn't see my side of it. Anyway, I do believe in a higher power, whatever it may be. Stay with me, I do have a point. As a teenager I have had angst, and went through different phases of belief systems, and was settled in, in believing in karma. Everyone gets there's in the end.

But I recently read a book that made me think differently. It contends that there is no karma, whatever happens to you is purely your fault. Which, being a complete realist and sometimes way too much of a pessimist, made sense to me. So I started to think "happy thoughts" and not think badly of everything, and I was much happier.

This brings me to my point. Ok, I know I'm always complaining about something, but this week I was so concentrated on the worst in everything, that nothing was going right. Thus proving that it is all your own will and has nothing to do with karma. I never acted upon my anger issues, I just stewed in the stupidity of others.

I have been contemplating this all week, and this is why I haven't written. I have come to the conclusion that all this anger is not a good thing, I just wish people would stop being so stupid and forcing me to make a statement.